copyright (c) 2020 Tabitha Carin Snowden

2020

Why Sex Before Marriage Is Not Good

Sex before marriage is tempting, because it is a natural flesh desire God put in our lives, although He did not intend on it being premarital. It’s a hard circumstance a lot of people are dealing with, and have been for a very long time. It’s a very common thing now days, to live together and have premarital sex, without blinking twice about it; we have come so immune to it, so it must be OK right…? Wrong. The bible has never changed, ever, the people reading the bible have, we have changed our thoughts or convictions everything, and we think the bible has changed? No, the bible has not, the commandments God wants us to live by, we are forgetting… It isn’t right to watch porn, it isn’t right to cheat on someone, it isn’t right be mean and critical to people, it’s not right have sex before marriage.

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Mark 10:6-9 says; “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife,^[^a^] ⁸and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. ⁹What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Hold fast, to his wife, it does not say his girlfriend, it does not say his fiancée, but WIFE!

It is important to remember the scriptures and to not forget what they say, they tell us everything we need to know, nowhere in the bible says that it is alright to have sex before marriage. So how do we twist it around to make it OK? Where do we find the guidance to make those decisions? We choose to ignore the scriptures that are actually teaching us, or preaching to us, because who likes to feel convicted!?! The truth is; God didn’t give us the Word to make us feel all comfortable and perfect, He gave it to us to feel constantly uncomfortable, to feel constantly convicted. To be in a constant place of growing and breaking and remolding, because we will never reach perfection, we shouldn’t want to, because there is always something to be learned from the Word of God.

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1 Thessalonians 4:3-4; “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable.” Avoid sexual immorality; which means to avoid temptations that end in bad results, such as sin, and that is a challenge, but it is a challenge we must take on. Also take control of your own body, yes it is possible to take control of ourselves, we can do such things, it is important to realize that if we don’t take control we will make life long mistakes, and God doesn’t want to see us making mistakes. What father likes to see his children mess up? No father likes to see that, God doesn’t want to see us hurt, and sin often leads to hurt.

AG.org says in one of their articles and premarital sex; “In terms of marital satisfaction, one of the most widespread modern myths is that couples need to live together before they get married to see if they are sexually compatible and thus to enhance future marital health and satisfaction. In reality, research shows that couples who live together before marriage have higher infidelity rates and lower marital satisfaction rates than those who do not live together before marriage.” It is a myth; you do not need to live together before marriage, it’s unnecessary, God made man and woman to be married to be unified and not to be living in sin. That is why He made marriage in the first place, to come together in our ups and downs, and to learn with each other, the exciting things of marriage are to learn!! But often we want to figure it all out before we even get to the place of marriage.

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This article was well written by Steven Tracy posted on Ag.org says this; “Other New Testament passages affirm the fact that pre-marital sex is forbidden. One of the clearest examples is in 1 Cor 7:1-5, where Paul responds to the Corinthians' suggestion that it is best for a married man to not have sexual relations with his wife. Paul's response is that because of immoralities (porneia), each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and the husband and wife must meet each other's sexual needs so that they do not fall into sexual temptation. There is no moral loophole here for pre-marital sex, for Paul instead argues that marriage is the only God ordained provision for sexual needs. Other passages such as Heb 13:4 link those who practice pre-marital sex with adulterers, indicating that sex before marriage and sex after marriage to someone other than one's spouse are equally condemned ("God will judge"). The marriage bed is cited as the exclusive place for God ordained sexual activity.”
Paul tells us that it is OK to have sexual relations with our spouses, but it is immoral to have sexual relations outside of marriage. Marriage is holy and God given thing, and God also gave us sex, but we often confuse the two, and we shouldn’t because in the bible it states many times clearly; that it is a sin.

“The reasons for cohabitation's negative effect are not fully understood. One may be that while marriages are held together largely by a strong ethic of commitment, cohabiting relationships by their very nature tend to undercut this ethic. Although cohabiting relationships are like marriages in many ways-shared dwelling, economic union (at least in part), sexual intimacy, often even children-they typically differ in the levels of commitment and autonomy involved. According to recent studies cohabitants tend not to be as committed as married couples in their dedication to the continuation of the relationship and reluctance to terminate it, and they are more oriented toward their own personal autonomy.⁷ It is reasonable to speculate, based on these studies, that once this low-commitment, high-autonomy pattern of relating is learned, it becomes hard to unlearn.” Once you learn a way of life, it is very hard to unlearn it, realizing that you could get yourself stuck in a position that is not biblical, and it could hurt you and others for the rest of your life!

We live in a society that sees premarital sex as OK, the world doesn’t see the problem, if we get told something or are telling ourselves something even if it’s not true, we start believe it is. That happens when we let our core get corrupted, if we don’t have a strong core in our faith, it’s easier to let the wrong information in, and eventually being weak to sin. It’s not easy all the time, but studying the bible and prayer, and staying in the Lord’s presence, the temptation will fade.

Focus on the Family wrote an article about how important marriage is in this situation; “In other words, marriage involves a couple’s public commitment to build a strong and lasting relationship.That relationship isn’t only a foundation for the nurturing of their own children; it’s also a building block of social stability and a contribution to the well-being of the broader community.”

Focusing on the stability and love and having a Christ-centered relationship, that is what is truly important, that will help to keep temptation away. Always press in to the Word of God, the scriptures speak for themselves, they don’t need any help, they tell us what is wrong and what is right. It’s clear the Lord just wants what is best for us, so if we follow His words, there won’t be as many consequences such as premarital sex, or other sins.

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1 Corinthians 6:18-20 ^“Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

Flee from sexual immorality, because you not only sinning against God, you are also hurting your own body, because like it says in the scripture our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit. Keep your body Holy, like God created, because God didn’t create us to destroy ourselves, but to thrive in His Word and His presence.

If you are thinking about having premarital sexual relations with someone, maybe it’s someone you love, remember the Word of God, God created marriage and sex, in that order, not the other way around. The first unit He created for male and female was marriage, that is how important it is to Him, we can’t confuse what God already set in place for our lives. If you love someone that much, remember how the more special it will be to share that moment with your spouse, how it will bring you together, and the two shall become one.